crashed

sit and watch the sky

"can you feel me slipping slowly from your reach
or hear me when i have lost the will to speak
can't you see we're running out of ways to stay alive?
if i'm wrong or i'm right,it doesnt mean a thing
i count the hours tonight, remember everything
although i cant see the light,
i sit and watch the sky"

the moon look so beautiful tonight, despite the lack of stars dancing around her. that's the same moon im gonna see in 10 years time. but in 10 years time, where will i be, when i look up and seek comfort from the sky? what will i be doing then? with whom am i going to share that moment? i dont know. and that scares me so much. living on this earth is no more as secure as it seemed 10 years ago. somehow, it's no longer guaranteed. when you were a kid, all that there is to fuss about are placing the ABS in order in your alphabet soup, candies, cartoon, playtime and toys. now that you're a little bit older, you have so much more to be worried about. not exactly worry about worry about, but more like things to consider and think hard about. there's your family and friends- the seemingly endless feuds and masquerading. there's the studies. there's also the guy you think is the one you're gonna marry and spend eternal bliss with. and of course you think about the future- alot. what does it hold? how does it look like?

it seemed unfair when i think about it sometimes. why does everybody have to be subjected to so many years of emotional and mental maturity within these few years? some people have great expectations, and threaten themselves to cross the thin line that separates perseverance and giving up when they slip and fall short of these expectations. some people never think they can achieve anything and so face life with eyes void of any expression. its as if they've given up hope. i think the happiest sort of people are those who kick life in the butt and live it by the day.

if i could, i would get away from the madness and chaos of this place. i would fly away and jump to the moon, where i'll sit and watch the earth. and then i'll point and laugh and cry, for the people of that poisoned globe do not have the chance to live the real life. like i know how living the real life feels like.

times like this happen you know, when you cant help but feel very emo and think about a gazillion and one why's and whatif's and how's. one day God will answer all those questions for me. for us. that is the most comforting thought.

wow i think too much haha. desperate housewives on channel 5 now. see you laytah, all you pretty things.