sexed up

one of those times. feel like yanking. haha. here goes.

cant believe im gonna be 16 next year. like are you kiddin me?! am i that old already! ugh. but it's a good thing (: a lot of illegal things are turning legal next year. i think? next year is going to be so stressful i can't believe im actually going through next year at all. i hope things go smoothly. i dont wanna screw things up and end up like total trash, like i kinda did this year, if you know what i'm talking about. sometimes i just wanna go back to when i was a kid and i didnt have to care about anything at all. ignorance is bliss. so much truth in those words people dont think much about it anymore.

of all the people that i met and am meeting, how many are actually going to remember me? and how many are actually the people i'm gonna remember? not that i dont wanna remember all of them, The Good and The Bad, but there's this list called The Best that actually has reserved space in my heart. i know people like qian, ben, daph, hooyi, hana, afie, kyna, shalom, aloy are already occupying the best seats, next to my mom and qiuru. g--x--- too i guess, even when he screwd things up. screw him la.

daph and i were just talking about it: us stressing ourselves out. her with math. me with some stuff. what if he prefers his previous? i feel like an overly insecure freak. ugh. this sucks. so so much. everybody is going away. first jamie, then pam, then now justin's gone too. oh well i guess things just happen. expect the unexpected.

today was ooh-la-great! ocean's twelve was rather crappy, with a few trashy scenes that made me go "what the hell?!" but brad pitt and george clooney and matt damon and catherine zeta jones are still whoa-really-hot. i love ben. i really do. ugh gawd this is so touchy-feely-im-getting-mushy!! but bleh..i love ben! i thank God for him (:

omgness the last episode of The OC is so..SAD!! freak i really wanna cry now cos it's so sad. emo time. time out. weep session. argh. ttfn. <3