the heart smiles
the heart sings
the heart dances
the heart whatever
im happy (:

i feel absolutely happy for you. eat that, ****y.

chem prac sucks big time anyway.

i dont want to care about anything.
i just want to be free from everything
this world is so freaking weird
its insane

she never told her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i'th' bud,
Feed on her damask cheek. She pined in
thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like Patience on a monument
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?

men may say more, swear more, but indeed their shows are more than will; for still they prove much in their vows but little in their love.

what a disappointment.

how is it fair that he can break her heart so easily, and yet he can let it pass as if it's nothing?

how is it fair that he expects her to give up so much for him, and yet he gives so little?

why is it the way it is, can somebody tell me?

for who can stop the heart from breaking?

guys are such dicks. what two faced bastards.

smth freaky happened. i've been waking up at night and realize i cant move. it started smth like last yr, but lately it's become more frequent. and for the last 2 or 3 times i've been waking up and realizing i cant move. and its very very terrible because its really scary. and i tried to move again and again yet i cant do it. then i hear this deep laughter, followed by this heavy buzzing noise in my ears. and then my head will feel like its being pressed in frm all directions, and it feels like smth's being sucked out from it. i've been experiencing that for 2 or 3 times. the last time of which was just last week. i thought it's just a nightmare. or the same old scientific theory that people have been telling me : the mind is in a state of fatigue. it has temporary disconnected itself frm the effector neurones, hence nerve impulses cannot be send to our muscles.

i made myself believe in the scientific theory. but guess what, im sure i was wrong. especially after what meiqi told me.

she told me she experienced the exact same thing yesternight, except she didnt hear deep laughter like a man's. she heard boys' laughter.

I WAS SO PANICKED AND WE WERE TALKING ON THE PHONE AND THERES SOME DISTURBANCE ON THE PHONE LINE AND I GOT REALLY FREAKED OUT. AND I TALKED TO ANDREW ON THE CELLPHONE AND HE THINKS I SHOULD TALK TO MY PASTOR. ZAY THINKS THAT ITS DEMONS. AND SO MEIQI AND I WERE REALLY FREAKED OUT OF OUR WITS AND I CALLED CALEB FOR AUNTY LAURA, and thank God for auntie laura. i feel so much better after talking to her.

if God is for me, none can go against me. thank You, Lord. i seek only the spirit of love and of goodness now, for only those are of the Lord's. i love You, Lord. the talk with aunty laura has changed me in a way i cant explain. i will grow strong in my faith.

somebody tell me whats the prom theme. i dont wanna be stuck with ACE. that sucks big time.

mardi gras will be better anytime.
old hollywood will be better anytime.
havana nights will be better anytime.
hah. anything is better than ace

sunday

Sunday morning, rain is falling
Steal some covers, share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy
Living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you

lalalala lalala lala la. la. la. lala. la. im happy (: its like tides. theres the highs and theres the lows. but no matter what, thinking about the highs always get me higher. i love ben. mommy thinks hes cute. as in like, a little boy. she went back this morning, but i managed to have breakfast with her before that. i miss her alr and i cant wait to go back to jakarta. i love that city.

tonight im going to complete:
1. cat high amath paper
2. school emath paper
3. june o's amath paper
yes yes i can feel it in my bones whooyeah i can feel it im gonna accomplish that much tonight. with help from a teensy bit of coffee of course.

didnt go tuition yesterday. went out with mommy in the late afternoon. dinner was great. i love eating whaha. and audrey's so cute and lovable! (not audrey tsen but my niece. not that auds tsen isnt cute :l) she was teaching me nursery rhymes that ive forgotten during dinner hahah. i miss her so. i hope she comes to sg soon.

supper at chompchomp was mad. there was so much food! i cant believe we went for ice cream at ice cube after that. the waitress is quite pretty and had to disappoint boon hahah. i think im gg there again with aloy this sat for dinner! whoohoo! ALL HAIL CHOMP CHOMP, YUM!

its drawing NEAR. its drawing near its drawing near its drawing near. GASPS. im gna die so bad. ugh.

i wanna go new york. tsk.

i am yours and
you are mine

today is the day eric died.

he drowned in liquid paper.

oh well.

saturday 13 august

another week passed by just like that. its too fast. and im getting scared. but the thing is, i dont think im doing enough to curb that fear. like, im not doing enough to get myself prepared for prelims. today is saturday. went school for physics this morning. after that rushed down for chem tuition. chem was extremely boring today. i guess its due to fatigue as well. i had only 4 1/2 hours of sleep last night. no, this morning.

i love jalan kayu! heheh where the pratas and dinos are cool! benny is now my official supper pardner. we walked all the way from jalan kayu to somewhere near boon's place last night. it was quite freaky cos before that (i have no idea why, but) we were talkin about freaky stuff. like..freaky spiritual stuff. so the way from jalan kayu to hougang pt was kinda scary- the trees and darkness and whatnot. IT WAS FUN!

thank God for the two bens that add colours to my life.

mommy's coming over on tuesday WHOOHOO :D i miss her. well, told her about the chinese o's result yesterday. fortunately she's not unhappy. but then again since when has she not been supportive. rhetorical. chinese result is quite disappointing. but still i gotta live with it.

i love meatballs. had swedish meatballs with ben yesterday at that maestro place in cine. no swedish meatball beats ikea's. ikea's meatballs are the best. i love ikea.

i love oldies.

what is the point of living this life if its going nowhere and all you do if get stuck in this pathetic roundabout no matter how many steps you take or how hard you think of a solution to get out of this living hell.

i dont see a point in that.

why cant they see that theyre killing us. why cant they tell that theyre churning out robots. why do they expect us to study 60/24/7. so much for play hard and study hard. does all work and no play makes john a dull boy ring a bell.

this world is too poisoned. bleagh.

tisbury

it'd take a miracle, so thats what im praying for. leave tisbury, girl.

i think love is amazing.

woke up this morning and i decided to finish up my a and e math papers, besides doing my physics and studying for tomorrow's test. its hell. i had a weird dream last night. (whats new i get that all the time) and yesterday's was about wanting to buy this lime green ipod cover for peater. haha.

so i was eating nutella straight from the jar. ha ha. i know its gross, but whatever. its unhealthy to be too healthy. it makes sense.

i dont wanna go back to school tomorrow. im dreading it. i dont think i can make it for jc. do they pay people to read books?

its sad when people break up. i hate to see things like that happen. i cant explain it but people around them get sad too. even if its for the better.

for who can stop the heart from breaking?

blooper

festival of praise was absolutely awesome! went on friday and sunday and it was sooo cool! the crowd was really huge and it was so cramped you can smell the stinking sweat while queueing up to get into the stadium :l but i hope they'll come again soon!

haha i love this new layout. it features the dude from The New Radicals. see the dood up there at the top right hand corner? -waves- i love the new radicals! (which is made up of well..gregg alexander) but its kinda weird cos its all flushed to the left.

went to school for national day celebration this morn. rather ironic, considering the fact that im not even singaporean -.- but whatever. the sky was like a broken showerhead. one moment its pouring mad. the next its as sunshiney as before. and the next it starts to pour again. wow.

i wanna watch charlie! he is the bestest child actor there is (except maybe for dakota fanning) i love finding neverland it's such a sad show. ah, the emo-ness of it all. ben's having tuition now and im feeling really groggy. havent been having enough sleep since the start of weekend. no, correction, the start of the week. no no, the week before that. okay fine since (almost) forever.

there's a gazillion and one different things that i wanna be when i grow up. but what i really wanna do is to have a job that involves writing.

super stoner day. but its gna be fun later at benny's. i shall go feed on my sleeping appetite. adios amigo. feeling really groggy.

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me....tonight

pop

i love andy warhol. nobody does it better than andy warhol. the world is getting old.